What is domestic & family violence?​

Family and domestic violence is an umbrella term that encompasses many categories of abuse and types of relationships. It is extremely complex — but what is not complex is the fact that it is never the victim’s fault.

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A person who chooses violence, or any form of threatening or controlling behaviour, is responsible for their actions. They were not “driven” or “provoked” by the victim; the perpetrator had a choice, and they chose to inflict harm. Responsibility and blame rest solely with the perpetrator.

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Terms such as Family and Domestic Violence (FDV), Family, Domestic and Sexual Violence (FDSV), Intimate Partner Violence (IPV), and Domestic Violence (DV) all fall under this broad definition. They describe behaviours that cause harm to a family member or intimate partner.

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Forms of Abuse

The specific behaviours can vary depending on the situation, but they all involve actions or patterns of behaviour that cause harm. This harm can take many forms, including but not limited to:

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• Physical Abuse

• Emotional Abuse

• Controlling Behaviour

• Psychological Abuse

• Financial Abuse

• Sexual Abuse

• Visa Abuse

• Technology-Facilitated Abuse

• Coercive Control

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Each of these categories contains many subtypes of abuse. This highlights that domestic and family violence is not always physical or visible — either to outsiders or to the victims themselves.

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Non-physical behaviours can lead victims to downplay or rationalise the abuse, believing that what they are experiencing “isn’t that bad” or “not really abuse.” Yet, even behaviours that may start small can escalate over time, while the victim continues to carry the heavy emotional burden of justifying or normalising what’s happening.

Family and domestic violence can affect anyone. It does not discriminate — it can impact people of any age, gender, culture, or background.

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Myths vs Facts about Domestic & Family Violence ​

Family and domestic violence is often misunderstood, which allows harmful stereotypes and stigma to continue. These myths can prevent victims from seeking help, reinforce blame, and make it harder for communities to respond effectively. Busting these myths is an important step toward building understanding, empathy, and safety for everyone.

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• Myth 1: “If it’s that bad, why don’t they just leave?”

  • ​Fact: Leaving is often the most dangerous time for a victim. It can increase the risk of harm to them and their children. Many barriers exist, including fear, shame, lack of financial resources, limited support networks, and the threat of violence if they try to leave.

• Myth 2: “Family and domestic violence is caused by alcohol and drugs.”

  • Fact: Not all people who drink or take drugs are violent and not all those who are violent drink or take drugs. Drugs and alcohol can increase the risk, intensity and frequency of violence but it is not the reason alone for a perpetrator being violent. ​

• Myth 3: “They must have done something to provoke it.”

  • ​Fact: Violence is a choice made by the perpetrator. The victim is never to blame. Responsibility lies solely with the person choosing to use abusive or controlling behaviour.

• Myth 4: “Family and domestic violence doesn’t happen in LGBTIQA+ relationships.”

  • Fact: ​Violence can occur in any relationship and that includes LGBTIQA+ relationships. There is low awareness around this due to the lack of data but there have been smaller studies that show similar rates of violence in same-sex relationships as to heterosexual relationships. 

• Myth 5: “Some people provoke the violence they experience.”

  • Fact: Nobody deserves to be abused, there is only one person responsible choosing violence and abuse and that is the perpetrator, ALWAYS. ​

• Myth 6: “The violence stops once the victim leaves the relationship.”

  • Fact: Unfortunately, abuse often continues—or even escalates—after separation. Perpetrators may use tactics such as stalking, harassment, threats, financial abuse, or manipulating children to maintain control. Leaving does not always guarantee safety, which is why ongoing support and protective measures are so critical.​

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Family and domestic violence is never acceptable, and the responsibility for abuse always lies with the perpetrator. By challenging myths and increasing awareness, we can create safer communities and better support those affected.

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How Can You Help?

The way you listen and talk to someone experiencing family and domestic violence can make a difference.

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• If someone is in immediate danger, call 000.

• Recognise the signs, which may include:

  • Sudden changes in behaviour

  • Withdrawing or isolating from friends and family

  • Frequent criticism or humiliation from a partner or family member

  • Suspicious or unexplained injuries

  • A partner or family member who is overly controlling or monitoring actions, money, or whereabouts

  • Fearful behaviour around their partner, ex, or family member

  • Rarely being alone or difficult to catch without a particular person present

  • Witnessing or overhearing aggressive arguments

• Listen without judgment.

• Believe them and take their fears seriously.

• Never blame the victim. Violence is never their fault.

• Shop at BEYOND THE LABEL - CLOTHING FOR CHANGE (apparently they make some cool stuff that supports this sort of thing...) and choose to support family and domestic violence awareness with your purchase.

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Together, we can create a culture where people feel safe to speak out, seek help, and heal.

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References:

• Safe Steps. (n.d.). Types of abuse. Safe Steps. Retrieved September 28, 2025, from https://safesteps.org.au/types-of-abuse/

• Safe and Equal. (n.d.). Family violence myths. Retrieved September 28, 2025, from https://safeandequal.org.au/understanding-family-violence/myths/

• 1800RESPECT. (n.d.). Domestic and family violence — support. 1800RESPECT. Retrieved September 28, 2025, from https://1800respect.org.au/violence-and-abuse/domestic-and-family-violence/support